A reassurance to Josh

It is such a pleasure to meet the archetype that began this precipitous tumbling away from modern considerations. It seems that you have made a comeback into the life of our former mistress, a step I never once considered since you tossed her out of you life in several instances of infidelity and the finding of shallow Pamela. May it also be played upon under current circumstance that you might have been the baggage that ruined our chances at happiness instead of my having hand in her current demise?

Ill let that alone for the time being, seeing that I am just reeling at your brash use of physical language. I shudder at the intonations that you should have come and spoken to me, to teach me a lesson, to keep me from sodomizing the innocents with my insecurities when we all lie in the puddle of your personal failings.

I’m truly blessed to receive your cake of verbosity and crassness, but my observations were without crass because they were with direct regard to people’s feelings and how it would affect them, and are you certain that I write verbosely when my focus is a subjective capture of a rather ephemeral emotional subject?

In correction I prefer “Existential Literary Engineer”, as your version replaces Literary with Technical and that just is cute because I have not the foggiest what Existential Technology is.

So to address your next racy ad hominem attack, I am just as happy as you are that I am again out in the world, and perhaps I will grow up a bit too as you suggested. I will begin by approaching relationships maturely and responsibly and not to believe it is my mission to correct all wrongs in my partner’s life through angry intervention. You surely make yourself look like quite the hero though when you tell me harsh words like fuck off and get all huffy puffy about troubled artists.

So maybe I will live in a boxcar, like Kerouac perhaps? You can keep your American play though, because as I see it you are much more fitted towards the American dream. A young hurried romance with confused responsibilities and a pharmacopeias supply of life and mood enhancing opiates in the medicine cabinet (though some in tragic succession have the tendency to make out peckers flaccid, is that not true?).

Let me instead script the next five years of your life out on tasseled vellum and with dreamy India inks.

Or better yet, let me write to you and speak with authority in that jealous little ear of yours. Though we have both wrestled with the same woman, and spilled kisses upon the same breasts, maybe whispered the same words in her half sleeping ear, that is not the point. Nor is it the point that you have someone to rescue or even have the remotest need to disregard the callings of another soul merely out of insecure jealousy.

I am not your enemy, and though you might see me as a hateful disillusioned man, these are my presentations of the facts although perverted by a wistful mind. I too have read your poems of hurt and have mused at your depictions of angels in fluorescent lighting, we share this thread.

So young antithesis, the challenge remains. I write to my blog with personal reflections, anyone on my mailing list that doesn’t want to receive them merely removes themselves at my web site or asks me to do so. I do not monitor my list, so anyone can join or leave at free will but some do so without my knowing. Your bride seems to unfortunately be fastened on by her own will to receive this, as I make no attempts to contact her, nor have I done so for over three months.

I repeat; this is a personal work that I have posted on my public forum for anyone who wants to see. So I have no one to leave alone or fuck off too you see, I keep to myself.

So surely this is why you avoided speaking to me, because you knew the truth combined with the life you are trying to lead with your mistress is too hard of a battle, I have tried this too. So join the side of the light instead, I urge you to open your eyes and grope for truth with your own findings.

Put down your anger for me for it is made of only testosterone and protectiveness. I am adequately prepared for you to respond with more angry words and jabs at my character, most addressing me as pompous or arrogant, but there is also a little faith in me that you can break the vicious circle and speak like a peer. Just remember, glory days are over baby, and don’t pretend this is only as good as it gets…