Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Johny no-fight lately

I suppose it is just fair play to mention that we are just sparks in the software, just wind in the sails - that all of this; please take a look around; it is just borrowed from the future, with heavy interest and with no incentive to stay. Our essence leaks out of this hostile machine the more we ride it, certainly, but our inner ears synchronize to the hum and buzz of its cogs and glinting pulleys. I will admit that I have lost the fight in my limbs. I want cold comfort and middle aged penis pills, a corpulent and comfortable wife, a retirement plan and insurance. This and I have methodically alienated every kind voice, and burned every promising bridge from both ends. Frankly Mr. Manic, it is time to head for the hills or put that muzzle in your mouth, because nothing changes if you let it sit; like a warm cancer or a cold gun.

Friday, March 02, 2012

School of Necessity

They say that necessity is the wet nurse of reinvention. To have a new life, to start a new damned life, you have to have some gusto. You need to march into a blubbering idiots office and say it "are you looking at me?". Sure you let go of some well know and conventional norms when you pull off your reflective vest and point for him to finish up your time card so you can go get a bit of whiskey and enjoy your weekend. It is for these moments that individuality owes a debt of gratitude, for they provide the inertia of change; they harden the voice and straighten the back, they draw in the paunch and give you the crooked little grin that it takes to do something real. The majesty of whatever it may be has been lost on you; every new job just a fit of desperation, like marrying your high school sweetheart at 36 with two other men's children.

This is where lesser people drown their kids in a lake or buy a fancy can and get hair plugs, but I am invigorated with this nearly supernatural sense of nothing to lose. It is the freedom of a terminal illness or a social security check, for we all fade away and die, but I will do it to my own theme music.